For the better part of the last decade I had not dedicated myself to anything other than my family and my Corporate job to which I gave myself completely and also used as ammunition. In what sense you may ask? Well, ammunition towards myself! Except for my father, who didn’t shy away from reminding me I had strayed away from my fit self, the main person I was fighting with was ME. I knew I had lost my way but would quickly justify the “why” I couldn’t get back into it.
About 5 yrs ago when I was pregnant with my 1st, this Mama right here quickly gained an excess of 50 lbs EXCLUDING the baby weight. This weight would fluctuate down then back up by 10 lbs here and there but never past and definitely not maintained. I was in a massive rut. Exhausted from being a new Mom, rough 1st year adjusting to motherhood and /wife combo then adjusting to motherhood as a full time working career woman.
I knew I had to lose weight BUT…
· I’m was just TOO TIRES by day’s end and morning’s were crazy getting everyone out the door.
· I’m was SO BUSY. I got home from work, supper, bedtime, clean up…then back at it for work stuff…when would I have gone to the gym?
· I’m WASN’T MOTIVATED. In the past, I always had a competitive goal to drive me but even then I lacked full blown consistency and discipline.
· I didn’t want to THINK…My brain ‘hurt’ from always being ‘ON’. (So watching TV late evening was my avenue to disconnect)
I know most of us have said these exact same things. They are our reasoning. They are our EXCUSES. And I know it sounds harsh to use that word “EXCUSE” but the reality is they’re just that. Each point valid but an excuse nevertheless. SO, here we are having this internal dialogue with ourselves and odds are the negative thoughts tend to win! Well, at least it did in my case.
NOW THE WHY
Ok, so now you have some context to what’s to come and WHY it absolutely changed my life.
Cue in 80 Day Obsession….80 Day Obsession officially launched January 15, 2018. I had signed on to be a Beachbody Coach on December 24th, 2017. Yup…Christmas Eve. I didn’t know where this adventure would take me or if I’d even stick to it since my goal was really Personal Training…but that’s a whole other story I’ll leave for another time. So, 80 Day Obsession was starting and I signed up for it and that’s the package I initially purchased when signing up as a Coach.
When I got the package in the mail with the sliders and elastics I was excited. I mean, who doesn’t like to receive packages…it’s like Christmas again except I’m my own Santa!
If you’re not familiar with 80 Day Obsession, It’s Autumn Calabrese’s newest program. You might know her from the popular 21 Day Fix and the creator of the coloured portion containers for the nutritional plans. The program required a 6 day a wk commitment for a total of 13 wks (80 workout days). Nutrition was based on a timed-nutrition concept which has you planning meals around the time of the day you will be working out.
Alright, let’s go back…6 days a wk! 6 days a wk!!! I had a 3 month old at the time (now 8 months old). I knew I could NOT get to the gym that often and I was seriously worried about being able to get it done from home. I knew Beachbody programs were solid but training at home, with all the distractions… was I setting myself up for disaster?
Perhaps….I DID CRY most days for the 1st few wks. I WAS TIRED. With the baby not having a consistent nap schedule I didn’t know if I’d be able to fit my workouts in while he slept and the house was a mess. I cried…and cried…and struggled to move my body easily. This was hard…This FELT hard…Had to use the ‘modified’ technique for many exercises which hit on my pride…but who was I kidding. I had 50 lbs of excess on this body I used to move so easily. THAT is not going to be easy which is why most of us Mamas stay in the “mom bod” phase…
I have to say, a big reason I was able to stick to the plan was because I started to publicly share my journey on a daily basis with my friends and family on Facebook and on Instagram as I began to start building my following. I actively participated in the Challenge groups us Coaches run that are there for accountability, motivation and information. As a Coach, I was a Challenger 1st since taking care of myself is the example I’m trying to set.
As time went on, I bought heavier weights and started doing leg and booty day at the gym in order to be able to lift significantly heavier than the weights I had at home. Necessary? No! But, I wanted to push harder now that I started getting used to the schedule and intensity.
Honestly, it took me about a month to fully adapt. But by wk 4, I was ok. I had survived the 1st few wks. Survived the baby not sleeping and using him as my weight instead of the dumbbells. Survived the fluctuating schedule that had me working out in the AM today and late PM tomorrow. With the help of the awesome pre-workout, my energy was not through the roof but most definitely got me through my workouts.
After wk 4 (picture on left), I took my IN PROGRESS pictures. THAT… you see, the scale and I are not friends. Not much was going on on the scale and I hadn’t really noticed what was going on with my clothes. But the pictures don’t lie! When I saw the results after only 4 wks I was SOLD! SOLD! Like, I knew in that very moment that I was going to continue doing this program but that I was going to FINISH it! To the very end!
What was fun is that most ppl in the Challenge groups started at the same time. When I was on Day 13, everyone was on day 13. When I was on Day 56, so was everyone else. It created a comradery amongst us. WE were doing this together. United in our struggles, our wins and our accomplishments.
THE END IS NEAR
At the end of wk 12, as was the case at the end of each wk, there is a sneak peek of the wk to come. Workout wise but also behind the scenes with the crew, their thoughts, etc…And it was then that I fully realized what was happening (YES, 12 wks later). As I watched the crew start getting emotional about the end of the program approaching I found myself teary and with a heavy feeling in my chest. WE’RE almost done.
Every workout that last wk I savoured and pushed to the max. The very LAST workout of the program was booty day and I went to complete it at the gym. I must have looked like an utter fool. I was doing each movement with tears rolling down my cheeks. I could not believe that this day was here. What seemed to be an IMPOSSIBLE DREAM when I 1st started was now realized.
I, for the 1st time ever, gave myself whole heartedly to something outside my family or my job. I had committed. I had persevered. I SURVIVED. And I was feeling amazing.
For the 1st time in years I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I could visualize my fit self back but better. Older, stronger and with 2 beautiful boys and a husband by my side. I would feel sexy again. Pretty. Attractive. No, I’m not vain. You’re going to tell me those are not things you want for yourself, too? I know. It’s hard to admit. It might sound selfish but it’s not. If we feel better, we do better. So, this is it! By the end of the program, complete strangers online became friends, we got to feel like we knew the crew on the set since we’d see them pretty much everyday for the last 3 months.
Most importantly though…I feel like I FOUND MYSELF, again. The strength I KNEW I had inside me pushed through.
As I write this, I tear up still. The impact doing this program from A-Z and the transformation I got from it will always be my turning point. I cry for the person I let myself be for so many yrs. I cry for the time I let go passed me without taking better care of myself. I cry for the amazing sense of accomplishment I feel from completing it.
And now, the sky is the limit. I look forward to continuing my transformation. I look forward to wearing shorts again…for the 1st time in yrs THIS summer! I look forward to enjoying this awesome feeling of feeling great in my skin.